When Will I be Loved?
by A. Frivolous
Summary: MattxMello OneShot:: ...A red head, a blonde, and nothing but the sound of constant bleeping noises was the only things in the room... ::First OneShot. Rated M for language and yaoi. Re-uploaded.


Disclaimer: I don't own DeathNote, Nor Mail Jeevas or Mihael Keehl. Okay? Thank you for reading your daily disclaimer. XD

Yeah, so I thought this up for really no reason to tell you the truth.. XD LOL I was bored.. And I couldn't stop thinking of Matt and Mello.. So, here is my first OneShot! One more thing, after reading mine, go read my friends stories please?

**Edit: I edited this a little, fixing some spelling and grammer.**

ginniirox : DAMSEL.  
Ixcalia : Saving Me.

They're two awesome fanfics for DeathNote! Thank you. Also, just because this is a OneShot, I might make it into a story later, by making a Chronicles to this. Alright?

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When Will I be Loved?

A red head, a blonde, and nothing but the sound of constant bleeping noises was the only things in the room. Besides the couch, desk, tv, computer, ps3, wii, xbox 360, roomie things really. The red head had been playing his games all day, nearly driving the blonde insane with the sounds.

"MATT! DAMNIT! TURN IT DOWN ALREADY!"

The annoyed blonde spat, not being able to take it anymore. Matt only huffed and turned it down like he was told to do so. He was the blonde's slave, dog, his toy to play with. And he never complaned. He loved his blonde, always just giving his famous toothy grin, brushing aside his real feelings. His true intentions. Matt was always doing whatever his blonde requested. No matter what. He wanted to please his blonde in every way he could.

"Matt, I'm running low on chocolate, run out and get me some. I have some calls to make."

Matt only sighed, saved his game, and got up. His red hair falling over his goggles, hiding his eyes even more. Shielding them from the cruel and hateful world.

"Mells, I might not be back for awhile... I'm going to just drive around for a bit... I'll be back later."

Before Mello had time to react, he'd had already shut the door behind him, and had run down to his car, and was driving off. Matt was strangly depressed. His life had sucked, he was orphaned at a young age, his young deep blue eyes had seen more violence than most adults. Yet he always smiled, no matter what was going on, even if he was in pain, and it seemed he was always in pain anymore. Mello was never in the mood for him, he always was just in the way at the appartment. He started to drive around alot. Just to get out.

"Mells... I'm tired of this... I just want you... Nothing else... Not the DeathNote, not killing Kira, nothing!"

Matt said to himself, as he drove around to different places, not really caring where he went. He stoped at a store to pick up his beloved's chocolate, and a pack of cigarettes for himself.

"Mells... Why wont you love me anymore?"

Mello hadn't been in the mood to have sex, to hold his Matty, to love him with everything he had. Matt never really cared about all this, but lately all he wanted was to be loved. His past was finally catching up to him. His lonely nights only filled with the cries of an abandoned child. Nightmares filling his dreams, painful memories that made up his own personal hell. The red head sighs as he puts the cancer stick to his lips, lighting it with the lighter he had in his car. He knew it was bad for him, but it was a good release. An hour passed, he had smoked almost the whole pack he had bought earlier. The red head was now just window shopping, looking at some of the new games that had come out that week.

'Mihael... I wonder if we can just do something together... Maybe see a movie?' Matt shook his head at the thought.

"No... That doesn't sound good enough... Mello would just kick me and say that he had more important things to do than watch a freakin' movie..."

Matt said to himself, getting back into the car. He sighs again, and just decides to go back home. When he gets back, he parks the car, gets out, and goes inside. Mello was sitting at the desk, legs propped up on it, phone to his ear. Matt tosses him the chocolate bar, as Mello quickly catches it, and glares at Matt.

"Matt! You've been gone for almost two hours! What were you doing?"

The blonde screeches at the red head. Matt rolls his eyes, and walks over to the couch.

"I was just driving around... Like I said I was going to do..."

Matt huffed, picking up his PSP, and turning it on. His goggles hiding the forming tears. He shakes his head violently, and looks at his game screen, forcing the tears into quickly disapearing. Mello slams his cell down, and walks over to the red head, whom was now laying on the couch.

"Matt! Damnit! Why are you acting so weird lately?"

The blonde spat, his hands on his hips. Matt looks up from his game, and just stares at the blonde in front of him. He lays his PSP to the side, not even bothering to pause it. He gets up, and plants his lips on Mello's. Mello's eyes widen at this, but soon he just throws his arms around Matt's back, clawing at it as he does. Matt lets out a moan as he does. Mello forces his tongue into Matt's mouth, nearly choking the red head, but he soon recovers, and puts his hands on Mello's face, bringing him closer and deepening the kiss. Mello forces Matt to the couch, landing on top of him, and straddling his hips. Matt breaks the kiss, looking into Mello's beautiful blue eyes, like the ocean itself was in them.

"Mihael... I... I've wanted you to love me... That's what I've been wanting... That's why I've been acting so 'weird' as you put it... Mihael-"

He was cut off by a hand slapping him.

"Matt! That's why you've been acting so fuckin' weird? That's it! I need you to be acting like a genius so we can track down Kira before Near damnit!"

Mello gets off him and kicks his side, then grabs ahold of Matt's vest and brings him up before he puts his lips to Matt's. He moves his head to Matt's neck, then bites down hard, and letting go. Matt lets out a small whimper, as Mello kneels down, and opens Matt's pants,

"You want me to 'love' you? Then that's what I'll do!"

Mello says, as he opens Matt's boxers, exposing his already throbbing member. Matt looks down at Mello, his golden angel, pleading him to take him with his eyes. Mello doesn't even look up, as he grabs Matt's member with his right hand, and shoves it in his mouth. He sucks harshly, running his tongue around it as he does. Matt tosses his head back, moaning Mello's true name.

"Mmm... Mihael... Mmmmm... Mihael!"

The red head moans, as he feels Mello's free hand wonder up his back, then back to his hips, digging his nails in Matt's side. Matt whimpers as he does and shifts slightly, groaning at the movement and simply causing himself more pain while Mello digs his nails even deeper.

"M-..Mihael... T-That hurts... Please Mihael/.."

Matt whimpers again as Mello scratches his sides. Mello doesn't listen, as he harshly bites down on Matt's member. Matt screams in pain and bucks his hips as he arches his back. Tears form in his eyes, as he clamps them shut, trying to keep from crying. Mello bites harder, drawing blood. He sucks harshly, and swallows the blood coming from the new wound. Matt starts panting and crying at the same time, hoping he'd cum just to get it over with. Mello continues to suck, bite, wrap his tongue around Matt's still bleeding member.

"Mihael!"

Matt screams, putting his hands on Mello's shoulders, and pushing him down further. Mello lets out a small growl, and bites even harder than before. Matt bucks his hips again, and finally cums in Mello's mouth as he falls limp against the wall. Mello lets go, licks his lips, and looks up at Matt, his goggled covered eyes glased over with lust and tears.

"There... Now stop being a baby about how I don't 'love' you alright? Jeeze... This took too damn long, I have more calls too make."

Mello says, getting up and wiping the white liquid off of his mouth. He leaves Matt to re-dress, and go back to playing his video games. However, he doesn't. He slides down the wall, fixes his boxers and pants, and cries. He was not only in pain from the biting, but from the fact Mello only did that. He didn't 'love' him. He just pleased and hurt him. It wasn't what Matt was wanting. He wanted to make love, to be held by the man he loved ever so much. By the man he would do anything for, even die for...

After awhile Matt finally stopped crying, letting it all out alone, and gets up, shaky from the pain in between his legs. His goggles wet from the tears, he dries them off, and walks into the bedroom and into the bathroom. He turns the shower on, goes back into the bedroom, and gets something clean to wear. When he trurns back into the bathroom, he shuts and locks the door, then strips himself bare and steps into the shower. He cringes at the water hitting his member, as it still hurt quite badly.

He looked at it, seeing it still bleed, and a perfect bite mark around it. He sighs and leans against the wall, letting the water wash over him and wishing it could just wash away all his pains and problems down the drain. He takes his goggles off, and tosses them to the floor. His deep blue eyes tear filled. He only really let himself cry in the shower, so that no one could tell he had cried. The water would just wash away everything. All the evidence of his sorrow, simply washed away.

Unfortunately that was the only thing the water washed away. Matt was so strong, yet he could be so weak at the same time, hiding his feelings behind his goggles, and that famous toothy grin of his. His knees buckle beneath him, and he falls down in the shower, the pain taking over. He shuts his eyes, and lands on his hands and knees.

Matt cries out, tears running down his cheeks, like that of a rushing waterfall out of the side of a cliff. His naked form shaking, he tries to get up, but falling, so he just leans against the wall, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms aound them, laying his head between his knees, letting out loud sobs, only to be heard by no one. Only the ghost of all those who passed.

"Why? Why do I feel this way? I've never felt so fucking sad before! Why now? Now when Mells needs me most! Now when he and I are trying to get Kira? Before Near? Why, dammit!"

Matt grinds his teeth, hitting his head back on the wall. Looking at the cracked ceilling, he sighs, his tears and sobs coming to an end finally. The pain he feels in his lower body still lingers, but he forces himself up, turns the water off, and gets out. His body soaked, he stands there with only a towel covering himself, and he looks into the mirror; the strands of red falling over his blood shot eyes. His body still shaking, he gets dressed in the usual outfit. He picks the goggles off the floor, and then just stares at them for awhile.

"Man... I really am a child aren't I Mells? I-I... I'm sorry..."

The red head laughs weakly. He fixes his goggles around his eyes, giving them the appearance of being red. A sigh escapes his lunges again, as he walks out of the bathroom and slowly lays down on the couch. His tired and pain filled body twitches as he does. A slight moan escapes his lips as he feels himself sink into the couch like it was hugging him.

"Was that what I thought it was?"

The blonde said, snickering a bit as he turns to look at the red head.

"Shut up... I'm tired okay? Jeeze..."

Matt spat at the blonde, rolling over and closing his eyes, not even wishing to look upon his golden angel.

"I'm going to sleep. Wake me when you need me..."

Was the last thing Matt said before he is surrounded by the darkness, not even bothering to fight off sleep this time as he falls into his nightmared filled dreams.

"Mail..."

Mello gets up from his chair and walks over to the sleeping red head. He kneels down next to him, and looks at the red head before him, watching him as he sleeps, though not peaceful like he himself did.

"I guess I was a little too rough with you tonight huh? I'm sorry Mail... I know you want me to love you... But... Right now, I just want to be able to surpass Near at least once in my life... Maybe... Maybe I already have... Because I do have one thing he will never have."

Mello gets back up, and gently picks up his sleeping angel. He carries him to the bedroom and then gently lays him down on the bed, then laying next to him afterwards.

"Because I have you Mail... And I always will..."

The blonde whispers, then he kisses Matt's neck, holds him close to himself, and he too falls asleep, alseep beside his Matty.

End.

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Yup yup. There it was! My first ever OneShot! My MattxMello fic! Hope you enjoyed it, leave me a review and tell me how it was! Thank you! :3

**Edit: Again, sorry about the mistakes. Review and let me know if this was better this time, and if you see any other mistakes. Thanks!**


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